Funny Life Quotes
The Diary of a First Grade Teacher

Funny life quotes fly innocently out of the mouths of babies in the first grade classroom.

That’s because the first graders are trying desperately to understand their world. And they can ALMOST get it all straight. Problem is their interpretation may be just a tad bit off ...

The Dreaded School Accident

Clarissa ran out of the bathroom screaming, "Ooh, Teacher, come quick! You won't believe what Weesie done went and done!"

Funny Life Quotes

Inside the bathroom, I looked to where Clarissa was pointing.

“Weesie,” I said, “is this your underwear in the trash can? Are you sick?"

Little Weesie stumbled from around the corner, looking pale and weak. “Uh huh, 'cause they ruined.”

“Oh? What’s wrong, baby?” I asked, and she told me. She told me in a very visually descriptive way exactly what had happened.

“I can’t help it,” she sniffled. “My butt just THROWED UP!”


Count to 100

“I can count to 100!” Ben said.

“So,” Joe Joe snarled, “I can count to ah ... a MILLION!”

“A million?” Ben gulped. “Go ahead. Do it.”

Joe Joe didn’t hesitate. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 … ” Suddenly he paused and asked, “Say, how many fangers and toes is 'at?”

My A-B-Cs

This morning, Ema skipped into the classroom. “Guess what, Teacher! Yesterday night, I saw pictures in my pillow!”

How creative, I thought, she must have been dreaming.

"Yeah? SO?" Joe Joe barked, “Last night I learned ALL my A-B-Cs." He looked at me and demanded, "Listen!”

He thrust out his chest and began to sing, “A-B-C, D-R-V, P-E-S, T-U-Z.”

Now he stood at attention - solemn and proud - like a soldier.

Was he finished?

Whenever his eyes riveted to me, I took it as my cue. I want to be truthful, but positive, with my students, so I said, “Well, you … you surely do have good rhythm.”

Joe Joe saluted me and said, “Yes, Sir!” Then, he marched directly to his desk and promptly took his seat.

Now, is that cute or ... or what?!

Funny Life Quotes

Parents send money to school for a variety of reasons. And, as requested, most send it in a sealed envelope ...

But whenever Joe Joe placed his envelope on my desk for his school pictures, it had been ripped opened.

“Where’s the money?” I asked.

He stood beside me and grunted, "Arrgh!"

Slowly, his little fingers smoothed out the bills and handed them to me, one by one.

Each and every time he’d ask, “Is that enough?”

Each and every time, I shook my head.

He continued until he held the last bill ...

Grasping it tightly now, he stared at my opened hand.

At last, his exasperation won, and he huffed, “HERE! Just take it ALL!”

* * *

Although we adults can't act like that and say things like that, I do understand how he felt! lol

That's one reason why I love that because they are so young, six-year-olds unabashedly express what they're feeling - which are universal feelings. I call them funny life quotes because we've all been there and done that!


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Pre-K, Kindergarten, First, Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, Eighth, Ninth, Tenth, Eleventh, Twelfth, Homeschooler - TeachersPayTeachers.com