Funny One LinersFunny one liners occur all day long in the first grade classroom. And while some first graders DO know how to tease ... For the most part, they are serious and sincere in every word they say. What's Happening?Today, the class was lining up in the hallway to go to the cafeteria whenever the overhead lights flickered.“WHOA… what's happening?” Martin exclaimed, nervously. “Did the lights blink, or did my eyes turn off?” A Good RecommendationAt recess, I told Amy - who’s a dog lover - that I’m looking for a dog.“I want one,” I said, “but I’m not sure which kind.” She got excited. “Oh, I know,” she said, “get a Golden 'Treever. She’s a GOOD dog.” She clapped her little hands. “Oh, and here’s the bestest part … Everybody says she won’t pee in the house ‘til you get home!”
Pulling TeethYesterday, Ben pulled a tooth in class, so today he was surprised whenever he pulled another one.His eyes grew large, and his mouth flew open. “Pretty soon,” he surmised, “I’m going to be BALD TOOF!” Be Quiet!“Gena,” I said, “what are you doing? Sit up.”She was annoyed. “I’m TRYING to take a nap!” "Are you sick?" "No," she said, "I'm just ready for my nap." “Oh, but remember, this is first grade. We don’t take naps in here.” “I KNOW,” she said, sighing heavily and glaring up at the intercom system on the wall. “We can’t do ANYTHING in here! 'Cause that BOX up there won't BE QUIET. It keeps on blabbing all day long!” Another Funny One LinerEma tiptoed to where I was seated and whispered, “Teacher, my stomach hurts and it’s MAD.”“Mad?” I asked, making sure I had understood her correctly. “Yes,” she said, “it’s growling at me like this …” She leaned close to my ear and roared, “GRRRRRR!” She Lost Something ImportantGena is so dry. Everything she says comes out funny, even though she doesn't intend this.After Recess, she wobbled into the classroom rubbing her little head. "Teacher," she said. "I hit my head so hard, I... I can't find my eeemagination." I Got This!Little Weesie dragged her backpack down the hall behind her."Here, let me help you," I said, reaching down. "No, I can do it all by myself," she said. "See?" She waved her free hand to me. "I got me this EXTRA hand ... 'case I ever need it!"
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