Funny Quotes

from The Diary of a First Grade Teacher

Funny quotes from first graders demand that I keep my diary and a pencil handy at all times ... if I want to capture all of their funny quotes.

If you live with a child close by, I'm sure you know why.

Kids – especially kids in the first grade – are ALWAYS making profound observations. And they are EAGER to comment about their amazing discoveries.


I Can Read a Book!

For every family – hopefully - it’s an exciting time in life whenever your child picks up a book and reads aloud to you – for the very first time.

If that happens whenever your child is in first grade, sending that first book home with a student is a joyous occasion for us teachers, too.

And – as for me - I can hardly wait for the next day of school, so I can hear what happened at home ...

I was anxious to meet with the Red Reading Group today. “Who brought back your book? And who read to someone last night?”

Loegan jumped up. “I did!”

“GREAT! Tell us about it.”

I never have to ask Loegan to speak up; he LOVES an audience.

“First, my daddy climbed up in the attic to get down my BIG BOX.”

First graders must constantly be reminded to stay on the subject, so I said, “Tell me. Does that have ANYTHING to do with the subject we’re discussing?”

I could see the wheels spinning in his head … And I hoped he had a good answer because I so wanted to hear the rest of his story.

“It had my bee costume in it.” He searched my face and waited for a response.

Funny Quotes

Since the book they had taken home was about bees, his answer was “right on” ... My problem is I can never tell if Loegan is being truthful or – how I shall I put this? – “being creative.”

Now, there he stood - being respectful - by awaiting my consent ... But he was raring to go.

“Hmmm, okay,” I said.

“Sooooo,” he continued, “I put on my bee costume and told them, ‘I CAN READ A BOOK!’ And then I read my book to EVERYBODY ... My daddy invited my aunts and uncles and cousins and everybody!

Wide-eyed with excitement, he looked around the table at every classmate, seeking each one’s approval.

“Then, my daddy said that I read SO GOOD and SO LONG that I could go to bed. I said, ‘Oh, phooey! I’m not ready. I want to read some more.’

So I got me this microphone with this LONG ATTENTION CORD on it. It was so long that I just walked out to my cows and read to them, too!”

“REALLY?” I asked.

I saw some of the children in the reading group exchange glances with each other.

Wait. Were they questioning this? I sat erect. Should I be?

They’re only six years old … Do they know if he’s telling the truth or not? If so, how can they tell?

For a second, I sat observing them …

These are my kind of people, I thought. They may be brighter than I am, but they don’t seem to mind that I am their leader.


Kids’ Quotes About Reading

I cleared my throat.

“That was a wonderful story, Loegan. Now … who else would like to share what happened when you read to your family?”

For once, Martin was reluctant to speak. “I didn’t read to nobody … ‘cept my daddy.” He sounded apologetic. “He was the only one at home.”

“That’s FINE!” I said. “I know your dad is proud of you ... What did he say?”

“He said he didn’t know I could read like ‘at. He said he thought I wouldn’t learn how to read ‘til ‘bout the third grade. But, ya know what?"

With the wave of a thumb, he motioned for his Reading group to lean in closer.

Was he sharing a secret?

Funny Quotes

Using his best Southern dialect, he divulged, "My daddy’s nearly ‘bout 40 YEARS OLD … ya can’t ‘spect him to 'member EVERTHANG!



If you would like to help your child be "ready to read" his or her first book - whether at school or at home - be sure to visit Sight Words Dolch.

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