Funny Excuses
The Diary of a First Grade Teacher

Funny excuses from my firsties are honest ones. They are never MADE-UP because the kiddos are too open and sincere for that ... And that's what makes their excuses so hilarious.

For example, whenever one of my little ones is late for school, I never assume where they have been. I always ask questions to be sure. That's because when the bell rings, I'm in the classroom.

While other adults are on duty outside, I don't get to talk with them. So I want to be sure the tardy one has not been out exploring the campus or visiting a friend in another classroom somewhere.

Oh, do you think the little ones wouldn't dare do that?

Don't mean to frighten you, but yes ... I've had a couple who would - and who did!

Guess what, Teacher!

This morning Joe Joe was late for school. Panting and shouting, he burst through the classroom door ...

“Guess what, Teacher! My homework just rode off down the road! I tried to stop it!"

He threw his hands in the air. "See, Papa put it on top of the truck. And drove off!”

Wiping the sweat from his brow, Little Joe Joe headed for his desk. “You might not believe it, but I been out there chasing my homework down the road!”

“Oh,” I assured him. “I believe it.”

What Happened to You?

Amy, who's usually smiling, dragged herself through the classroom door.

“Uh oh,” I said, “where’s your happy face this morning?”

“I don’t know,” she moaned. “I just woke up like this.”

“How’s that?” I said, asking for it.

She was a ventriloquist. “All swoll up in a grouchy face." 

What's the problem?

"Weesie," I said, "why are you late for school this morning?"

" 'Cause," she admitted, "I have a problem."

"Oh? What's the problem?"

"ME!" she confessed. "I slept overtime."

Why are you late?

Tommy shuffled through the classroom door and collapsed in his seat. He was tardy.

I went over to check on him and asked, “So, Tommy, are you okay? Why are you late?”

He was an exhausted, exasperated zombie. “ 'CAUSE," he scoffed, “our car kept running DEAD.”

* * *

At school the children's safety always comes first, but I tell you, it's impossible for me to keep from laughing at some of their funny excuses!

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Pre-K, Kindergarten, First, Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, Eighth, Ninth, Tenth, Eleventh, Twelfth, Homeschooler -