Funny Kids Quotes
The Diary of a First Grade Teacher

Funny Kids Quotes fill the pages of The Diary of a First Grade Teacher. I love the way my students express themselves and I'm so glad I took a minute to jot down these funny kids' quotes.

Instructions for God

Martin told me that his mother was in the hot-spit-ul. “She’s REAL sick,” he whispered to me.

I said, “Do you know WHY she’s in the hospital?"

He didn’t answer me. He was in deep thought ... “I prayed for her last night,” he said. “I told God I miss my momma. And I want Him to help her.”

His little forehead was creased with worry. “I told God I don’t know what room number she’s in. But He can go down thar, and ask that thar head nurse.”

Isn't that sweet?!!!

A New Punctuation Mark?

Amy was writing a story. “Come see!” she insisted.

So far, she had written this: i lik prazenc!!!!!!!!!!

I read it aloud. “I like presents. Right?”

Right. I do!”

I’m curious,” I said. “Why do you have so many exclamation marks?”

Oh, that’s not what that is,” she assured me. “That’s a-SIDING marks… cause I’m sooo a-SIDED!”

Auditory Memory

As one means of helping develop the first graders’ auditory memory, I always tell them the title of the story I’m going to read to them. Then, after I have read it, I ask WHAT the title of the story was.

For the first time since school started three months ago Joe Joe gave the correct title ... And not one he had made up.

I was elated. “That’s right!” I patted his hand and said, “Tell me, how did you remember that?

“EASY,” he replied, pleased with himself. “I just closed my eyes and counted to five!”

Hold Up!

My first graders never cease to amaze me with their funny kids quotes.

Later, I was trying to remember Ema’s new step-father’s last name, so I asked her.

She thought for a second. “I can’t 'MEMBER … Oh, hold up!” She squealed, “I’m just about to catch it!"

When Does it Pay to Work Ahead?

Today is Friday, February 28 ... And I think Loegan was trying to get ahead on his class work.

See, here's how it is ...

Daily, the first graders write their spelling words on their paper. But that's AFTER they write their names and the current date.

So, today, Loegan had already completed and turned in his spelling words, and now he was busily working on something else.

Whenever I approached him to take a look/see, smart little Loegan had written … Today is Monday, February 31.

lol ... Bless his little heart, he was trying to get ahead!

Sound it Out

I asked the students to type ONE sentence on the computer telling me ONE thing they enjoyed doing.

Here’s what Weesie typed …

i lik to pla in mi room all bi mi sef an b nise to mi rado.

I pointed to nise to mi rado. “What does this part say? No, wait," I said. "Just read me the whole sentence, please.”

She took a deep breath and read, “I like to play in my room ALL BY MYSELF and be nice to my radio.”

And even though I hadn't asked her to explain, she did ...

“I'm not nice to my sis," she said, "cause I can't know how to spell that hard word!"

* * *

Ha Ha! I tell you I have to be one fast teacher to keep up with this bunch of first graders and all of their funny kids quotes!

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